Category: Miscellaneous

New Product Satire

Miscellaneous June 28, 2019

I recently invented a new product, though it’s still in the prototype stage. It combines a metal detector with a weed whipper. I figured, this way I can keep my lawn looking good and make some money on the side!

HaHaHaHa

Didn’t think it was funny? Well, you’re not alone. I’ve been telling this joke – an original – since the mid 1990’s, with only a lukewarm response. Nevertheless, I continue to chuckle!

Magic Trick: Mind Reading – Revealed!

Miscellaneous June 26, 2019

Having followed the steps outlined in my previous post, entitled Magic Trick: Mind Reading, it’s now time to reveal the magic!

Given they’ve applied their two different secret letters to the name of a country in the north & the name of a very large land animal, you can now turn to them and state…

That’s silly. There’s no such thing as Elephants in Denmark!

So much fun – have a good time with this magic trick, and thanks for visiting!

Magic Trick: Mind Reading

Miscellaneous June 25, 2019

This is a fun trick you can use to amaze family & friends, who’ll be left scratching their heads, wondering – how did he know that? It works the same for one or more people at once, but you must be very clear in providing the proper instructions.

Note: I’ll post the answer tomorrow, so, if you’d like, you can play along today!

I have a trick I’d like to show you. It requires that you do some math, and you’re welcome to use a calculator if you’d like – but, it isn’t necessary.

Pick a number from 1-100 and don’t tell me. Keep it secret, and let me know when you’ve selected a number.

Ok. Multiply that number by 9…

Is your answer 2 or more digits long, yes or no?

If they say, “no”, then continue to The Next Step – see below.

If they say “yes”, then you say –

Ok. Now, add the digits together. For example, if your answer was 123, then add the “1” plus the “2” plus the “3” together to get a new number of “6”.

Next, rephrase the same question –

Is this new number still 2 or more digits long?

If so, have them add the digits together again & ask once more.

This time, they’ll answer “no” – continue to The Next Step.

The Next Step

Next, I’d like you to subtract 5 from your number…

Now I’d like you to assign your answer to its corresponding letter in the alphabet; for example, 1 = A, 2 = B, 3 = C, and so on. Let me know when you’ve done this.

Ok. Think of the name of a country in the north that begins with that letter. Let me know when you’re ready to continue.

Next, move one letter further into the alphabet, and think of the name of a very large land animal beginning with that letter.

Conclusion

I’ll provide the answer…tomorrow. See you then!

Old Basketball Hoop

Miscellaneous, Photography June 9, 2019

It had been a while since I played basketball, and I’d been thinking of it lately. My under-inflated ball was stored inside of a box in the garage, not far from an air pump. Shorts, t-shirt, shoes, air in the ball – I was ready.

The basketball hoop where I used to shoot wasn’t far, and so I practiced dribbling along the way. When I arrived, I took a moment to review the situation, and then remembered that I had a good book at home which I was planning to read.

Game over.

Believe It Or Not

Miscellaneous March 12, 2019

I once lived in Holland, Michigan, where, one summer’s day, a friend – Brooks Besjovec – asked if I’d like to see some…

Red Chinese Bats?

It wasn’t far, he said, located just off of Ottawa Beach Road along the north shore of Lake Macatawa, so I skeptically agreed and the journey ensued.

It was late afternoon when we arrived. We parked along the side of a road near a local wind-surfing shop which I was familiar with, and my friend pointed across the yard of a nearby house. There, roughly four feet off of the ground, I could see a large rectangular-shaped wooden box between two trees.

As we approached, Brooks cautioned me not to startle the bats, to approach the cage slowly, quietly. In so doing, I could see that the top of the cage was open, covered only with chicken wire.

A painted sign attached to the cage read, “Chinese Bats”, and, as I peered inside, I could see that my friend had indeed been telling the truth; there before my eyes were two red plastic Wiffle Bats – a.k.a., toy baseball bats (Made In China).

Fitness Flashback

Miscellaneous March 3, 2019

It was 1996 and I was 32 years old living in Kalamazoo, Michigan. My gym was American Fitness and I was working out 5 days per week (3-on-1-off, 2-on-1-off).

One day, I noticed a flyer posted on the bulletin board, advertising for a strong man contest to be held in 2 weeks – who could bench press their own weight the most times? This was my favorite exercise, so I decided to enter the competition.

The contest would be judged, and lifters had to adhere to the following rules:

  • no bouncing weight off of ones chest
  • no arched back – ones back must remain flat, in contact with bench
  • to count, each repetition must be full and cleared as “good” by judge
  • contestants would compete based on a weight class bracket

The event was to be held at an old, industrial building near the railroad tracks on the east side of town, used at that time for a bar known as The Warehouse. Based on my weight, I was in the 175-200 lbs. weight class bracket.

When it was time, I arrived to see that many others were also interested in competing, and a local news station had their camera set up to record the event. The first order of business entailed stepping on a scale to be weighed by an official. Each individual did so in private without clothing, and I weighed 190.5 lbs.

It was at that point that I learned another contest rule – that is, that weights would be rounded up in 5-lb. increments. Thus, I’d be lifting 195 lbs. instead of my actual weight. It was suggested that I run outside around the building a few times – hoping to lose 1/2 pound – and that a second weighing would be made available. I thought about it but wanted to conserve my energy, so I declined.

I waited for my turn back in the main room, stretching my muscles and warming-up on one of several bench presses made available.

When I was finally called, I walked up onto the stage, listened to a brief review of the rules by an official, and then got into position on the bench. Next, as with each competitor, a judge (a.k.a., the spotter) assisted in safely removing the weight from the rack, thereafter releasing contact for me to begin lifting.

I bench pressed 195 lbs. for 29 clean repetitions, good enough for second place in my weight class bracket. First place went to a 178 lb. competitor (from my gym!) who pressed 180 lbs. for 31 clean repetitions.

All told, I bench pressed 5655 lbs. during that series of lifts, which (in consolation only) was a total of 75 lbs. more then the winner. My 29 presses were also the 2nd most of any competitor across all weight class brackets at the event.

50th Anniversary of Steve McQueen's "Bullitt"

50th Anniversary of “Bullitt”

Miscellaneous October 17, 2018

Today is the 50th anniversary of Bullittone of my favorites – a classic 1968 action film starring Steve McQueen, featuring what is considered to be the greatest car chase scene ever filmed! IMDb describes the movie as follows:

An all guts, no glory San Francisco cop becomes determined to find the underworld kingpin that killed the witness in his protection.

Co-starring: Jacqueline Bisset, Robert Vaugh, Don Gordon, Robert Duvall, Simon Oakland, Norman Fell and Georg Stanford Brown.

And, a 1968 390 V8 Ford Mustang GT Fastback!

Steve McQueen in Bullitt